Self-Caring: What I Think About the Funnel of Love

The Foundations of Well-Being, “a year of growing good in your brain and in your life,” begins with four video talks and experiential exercises about self-caring from neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

I think of Rick’s self-caring visualizations as a funnel of love. You pour kindness and love into yourself, your mind and heart, which steadies you. Then you can pour out kindness to others around you, as in my illustration below.

The Funnel of Love by Mary Ann Barton

“All beings deserve decency and care — including you.”

When you think about it, caring for yourself is a matter of ethics as well as utility. As Rick puts it in his video on Befriending Yourself,  “All beings deserve decency and care — including you.”

“You know,” he continues, “the Golden Rule is a two-way street. We should do unto ourselves what we would do unto others. And many people treat others much better than they treat themselves.”

When I was younger, I took pride in acknowledging my faults. Heaven forbid that someone would point out a flaw I hadn’t noticed in myself!

These days, while I still think it’s important for me to be clear-eyed about my failings, I also think it’s absolutely essential for me to practice treating myself with respect and kindness. I don’t ask myself to succeed all the time. Sometimes the old, draining self-criticisms come rushing back into my mind. But I do practice.

November’s weekly video on mindfulness debuts today, November 4, 2014, at 5 pm Pacific Time. For information on participating, see the Foundations of Well-Being program.

Meanwhile, you can see an excerpt from Rick Hanson’s interview on self-caring with psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach below.

PS: In writing about my experiences as a participant in the Foundations of Well-Being program, I am not receiving any financial compensation from Dr. Rick Hanson or the Foundations program. Feel free to reproduce and share my Funnel of Love poster with others, as long as you include the copyright statement.